Love!
Anong napala co sa LOVE?
Pimples!
Eyebags!
at broken hart! napuyat aco't di nakapagstudy sa trigo!
bagsak tuloy ako!
GAAABAAA!
ttoooogsh! back to the real world (hey! that's still real!) !
For all that who know me and still doesn't know me, I'm Carl Ace, Carl, Ace, Rikdoy, C.A., Dhoie, Junjun, Junnibellx( well, i hate this one :< ). YFC brother and a freshman bagtik CMU-AN taking up Doctor of Veterinary Medicine, gwapo( Wiiih?! deh ngaH!) , but gwapa rin daw, loves gray, black, brown, country songs (except everything from Inday Taylor Swept), friends, facebook, Bible, sleeping, cheating, foods, more foods, heavy foods, and hates RNB, gays, and love stories, and status: drastically in pain due to severe GUGMATITIS(inflammation of the heart better known as broken heart).
Jolly as may seem, but I'm not. Some new friends see me plastic but that's kinda real no! no! for there's such a characteristic of a living organism called "ADAPTATION"(remember your Bio-onse), and I'm just doing it all the time; at least you know i'm "LIVING" and ain't no PLASTIC(ang wa kagets di malangit.).
My classmates find me noisy and parrotish(new word!hihi) because I always punch that whole line of nestea's add, even making my own version like that's one above. They find that sometimes funny but now a mere nuisance and another contribution of mine to the geeks' greatest enemy, noise pollution but ah-uh, I ain't absurd to rephrase and paraphrase that line over and over again for no reason, of course I got one. I love to punch that because that's also a one-billion question of my mind, WHY?!(sir duropan? pinagmanahan?), why love is somehow I find worthy enough to burn time for but what had it done to me, just a gugmatitis.
If you had read my previous blog post I published last year, you'll see how love caused me sooo much pain and led me to this incurable disease. Still the same, praying same line over and over again, in meals and before sleeping hours. However, I just find things clearer by now.
I consulted friends, talked to my parents, and done every way possible to take me out from my own life's upheaval. But no one advised me better that the Bible did. Some verses in 1 Corinthians and 1 John made me understand love more.
Love is something due to chemical reactions in your body led by some pheromones if you let the chemistry department define it for you. However, I find love as something that flared up from just a mere infatuation that might end you up to an everlasting relationship(that's every lovers wish to have), or the other way around, gugmatitis.
It is a great feeling of admiration and everything beautiful under the sun that you want to express with all your might. However, if your as unfortunate as me, you'll find out that love is an ecstasy you want to achieve but not at all times your entitled to avail it. That's the time, if you're misguided, that you'll start hating love as if it's some sort of evil or maybe a 3 unit sociology with no field-trip(i hate it!).
Remember: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:18)
Many of teens like me experience a forbidden love. In my case, I'm inlove with someone I nicknamed "Spongebob", who is a 'he', and also in love with my closest friend( and here in CMU, a close friend is your family here;) ). Yes its so painful and I'm asking God every night to remove this feeling magically just like how it came to me. Yet no answer like"yes" has come.
By time, I just accepted that that love isn't meant to exist(even in fairy tales) and what I need to do is to guide myself rightly out of this chemical reaction. Though there's no more happiness I could ever cry for than winning this losing battle, I still opt to quit. There's no sense fighting for and proving that I could love better for even the "Law of Nature" hinders me to achieve what I want.
I have given my best, even sacrificed my pride and dignity for that love. But I don't regret that, for in this whole process of moving on , I got lessons that any books wont teach me. Now at least I had established my principles bout loving, and I know within me that I'm near to be ripe enough to have a love that would last and have a someone to love that would treasure my worth.
Lesson learned: Our heart is in the left side of our body. That is something that tells not all love is right, yet all real love, right or wrong, is hard to get rid of. That must be unfair, but this is all part of my journey, the memories and pain, and God would sum it up to make me ripe enough, a Carl Ace that's "full-packed", for short, ready na!
