Father's Day Everyday!

“I wish my baby is alive, and I would hear him saying ‘daddy’.”

That’s a wish of a father-could-have-been last Father’s Day. That’s what a father really is. Whatever he wishes, he never wishes something for his own good; it’s always for his child, wife, and for his family. He strives hard to earn money. He makes day as day, and night as day, just to make sure his family won’t starve. Some even imprison themselves to shame in doing the most pride-degrading jobs just to make sure his child would have a penny for school. But for loads of tacit love that they have given us for years, what have we done in return?

Inexpressive. Dictators. Life-hammerlockers. Egoistic. Cantankerous. Killjoy. That’s how we usually stereotype our dads. When girls talk about love-life, the mother agrees, while the father does otherwise. Why? Because mothers know what’s love, while fathers know what life is. What’s my point? We neglect the nice side of our dads.

Our dads are inexpressive, but would shout at us just to say that not all love is meant to our lives. Our dads are dictators indeed, for they even dictate God to guard us every time that they’re not around. They’re really born as life-hammerlockers, for they’ll never let us go when they know that were not ready yet. So egoistic they are, selfish as we may call them, for they would really insist what they want and would ignore our tears, as long as they know that their choice would bring us to better outcome. Cantankerous maybe, but have you realized how patient they had been when were still newborn babies, taking refuge to their shoulders while they’re standing still, waiting for us to burp? Killjoy, as what we name our dads to our friends. But did once in your life, you made an act that would give your dad a certain happiness that would last? Remember, when your still a child, your dad always buy you balloons an ice cream to paint a smile on your face; is that killjoy?

Now, see how great our dads are? They love us more than anyone. They never wished to be respected, but they wish that we would learn the virtue of respecting. They never wished to be understood, but they wish that we would learn how to openly understand the people around us. They never wish to be praised, but they wish that we would appreciate their overflowing love to us.

Last Father’s Day, I heard my dad’s wish. He said: “I wish I could txt my dad a Happy Father’s Day”. I really want to do my dad’s wish, but that’s impossible. First, my Lolo don’t have a cell phone, second, he’s already dead.

Our dad is the foundation of our family, and showed love to us not only by words, but also by sweat and blood. I wish all of us would give some efforts to show them how much we love them. A piece of ‘I love you’ would never be enough, unless you stand by what you said with all of your heart. I you haven’t greeted you’re dad a ‘Happy Father’s Day’ yet, well, it’s never too late to greet him if you greet him now.

Animal Behavior

“Humans are also animals. And others even behave like animals. Like my new classmates. Well, it’s just a matter of observation.”

3 years in kindergarten. 6 years in elementary. 4 years in high school. Now, I’m 16, and starting thriving for these 6 or more years in another education trench, college.

Enrolled in one of the most prestigious universities in the Philippine archipelago, Central Mindanao University, and standing firm as a freshman of the College of Veterinary Medicine; facing college life is such a hard thing to do for me. Why? Because I’m afraid for the possibility that I won’t meet the high expectations of my parents and all the other people around me. And one thing more, I still don’t know how to adjust to the new environment that I need to live with.

New style of learning, new teachers, new classmates, and new behaviors to understand; these are just few of the many new trends in the new environment that I’m existing in right now. But one thing that really intrigues me is the diversity of the attitudes of my new set of classmates. And as a Vet Med student, the thought that says “they act like animals” slackly entered into my senses. To my classmates, please don’t be offended, it’s just an ordinary stranger’s observation =).

The Jaguars

· The silent but proud, the elite-acting, the highly-territorial: they are the group of boys who never did try to mingle with the animals out of their camouflage range. Usually, they are also the most elusive people in the block. Others even commented that they look and act scary; like jaguars that commonly display their territorial marks with teeth clattering hoarse growls.

The Chimpanzees

· I love these people! They are those who latch onto their company, for good or for better. They share time, laughter, knowledge, and backstabs behind their being different with each other. As of last Friday, I could confidently say that their band won’t be easily brought to an abrupt halt with a simple sunder.

The Sloths

· Innocence also spells like boring! These are those people in a certain group of ladies, and some boys, who talk less, move less, and mingle less, all maybe because they eat less. LOL! At the first two weeks of college life, they were easily outshined by the chimpanzees and the jaguars. But I believe that these sloths would glitter at the end, for sloths though weak in nature, were known for their great clinging prowess at the top of the trees for all of their days.

I myself also consider myself as a human with animal-like behavior. I must be a dog, for I’m stubborn, annoying, noisy, and anarchic, but for sure, I’m friendly, loyal, an undeniably cute (sorry guys, I don’t do lies). For we are all different but moving in a common sphere, we would surely have conflicts at the middle of the line. We all got unique behaviors, and putting us together in a single cage would be so chaotic, but always remember, God made the world so diverse to balance everything. I just wish that no species would fall down at the end, for we all need each other. TAMAAA! =)

He Guides...

Trapped in the gloom of the bygone age
Locked in the bars by the impudent eyes
Been tearing for years for these anguished wounds
Been breathing for life with this melancholic air.

But out of the Hades' I found His light
In His path i walk upon His sight
He ended up the miseries of my disdained soul
And made exist of the cul-de-sac of my reveries.

Now i live with ecstasy in my heart
With my pals I write splendid memoirs
No more day is prosaic or mundane
How lovely yes it is, this life renaissance.

This moment isnt naive!!!!its fun!!!

último adios: a perfect memory

feature: last batch diez bonding as of april 7, 2010.


Time: Noon, April 5, 2010
Place: Ice Kingdom, Malaybalay City
Jollibee, Malaybalay City

Ian: Carl, let’s go to your place. Let’s go to the falls.
Lester: Yah Carl, let’s go there.
Carl: Okay. Thursday would be great. What do you think?
Ian: No, Lester would go to Cebu in Thursday. How about tomorrow?
Carl: Let me just ask permission from my mom, then we’ll plan it.

[In the Jollibee, Carl calls his mom]

Carl: Hi mom, can I bring my classmates to our house tomorrow?
Mom: Sure.
Carl: Yes. Thanks mom. Love yah.

Carl: Yes! She said we can go!
Ian: So, we’ll go there at 9, and we’ll just invite others to come.
Carl: Okay. I’m so excited.


That’s how we planned the outing that we did at our place, an outing that cut-off the ennui that I’m feeling since my birthday.

April 4, my birthday. I was unsure if I would ask my batch mates to come into my house for I’m avoiding something to happen. But when I decided to invite them, my mom countered my plans. The reason was unclear to me, but what’s clear to me is the fact that this birthday party would be my worst party ever.

And so it did. Albeit some of my local friends came and we had a good time, I still couldn’t stand the reality that it would be more memorable if I have spent it with the Batch Diez, for I know, after this few days of last bonding moments, we have to walk on our own, and maybe, we’ll never see each other again.

But unexpectedly, in the 5th day of April, a sudden plan was fixed, and I know, this is what I’m wishing for.

April 6, busy, but also excited, I made sure everything that we need, the foods and the venue, is already prepared. 8: 45 A.M., Roel and Harold came, and then Nica Jan and her little sister arrived later. My dad drove us to CEDAR, a reforestation area, but also a tourism center, that exhibits the beauty of perfect nature. But oh, to my surprise, when we arrived there, the management has already started emptying the pool! I felt sorry when I saw the trails of dismay from the eyes of my friends.

“Now, everything is already out of what I planned,” I said to myself while seeing the water goes down and down. “But I shall not let things happen this way.”

So to scratch out the consternation, I brought Roel and Harold to Natigbasan Falls. I believe I made a right decision, I have seen no more trace of worries in their eyes; instead, I have seen the exhilaration being manifested on their smiles and heartbeats. After some strenuous steps of the stiff way down and heel-cracking river trail to the falls, finally, we reached it. ‘Wow’…the word of the minute. I could still remember how we enjoyed the pain of sharp water drops from the head of the falls to our body. They never did it before, so they enjoyed the moment like they’ll have no chance of doing it again.

I also invited my local friends, Michelle, Queenie, and Marnel so that they would know my batch mates. After some hours of grilling fish and eating, Ian, Lester, Loreto and many more arrived.

“I guess their trip is so tiring,” I said to Michelle when I noticed that they eat so fast, showing that they’re really hungry.

After they ate, we immediately proceeded to Dila falls. The path down there is really ruthless, but OMG, the falls that made us tired of trekking is almost waterless. I believe the phenomenal El Niño is the cause of this cataclysm. I felt guilty for I made my batch mates walk in a long and callous path but what they’ve seen is such a disappointment.

Next stop, head of the Gantungan Falls. I thought they would be bored again in that place but expect the unexpected; they even enjoyed the place more than the other tourists do! From this point, we never experienced any dull moment anymore. They acted like children, eager to try anything the place could offer them. I never thought it would be easy for them to jump the two-storey high bridge above the Gantungan River, an act that I haven’t tried ever since. While we are enjoying the moment, Clarisse and Kenneth came like a surprise. Without wasting any moment, Kenneth jumped into the river from the brigde!

After we felt that our knees are already shaking, we proceeded into our next point, Natigbasan Falls. At this point, not all of us went down, some went back to the cottage because I think they are freezing already. Only I, Harold, Roel, Alex, Loreto, Ian, Lester, Johennery, Kenneth, and Michelle went down to the falls, but that ecstatic experience is really unforgettable. I never visited that place like I did it with them. We even entered inside the waterfalls, witnessing the other side of massive fall of water just in front of us. We even let the river in the falls’ toes hover us like withered leaves.

Even though we already had too much fun, we still decided to go to the foot of Gantungan Falls. The place is so beautiful; immeasurable deep blue water, free wild birds on the cove, and the most majestic, the waterfalls that is fenced by huge and tall rock formation. Unfortunately, we didn’t bring our cameras and phones to this place because the water is so deep, were afraid that our bags would get wet. The waterfalls offered us a rock on its walls where we could stand then jump to its deep river.

The dark clouds warned us that there could be a possibility for a flood to arrive so we decided to go back to the cottage. Way up is really tiring, and we even get dirty, so we immediately washed our bodies and changed clothes when we reached the cottage.

After that, we all went to my house. We had some snacks and a lot of talk. Because it is brown out at that time, we didn’t had karaoke or movie tripping, and so, what they did is borrow DVD’s from my collection. I just hope my DVD’s would be returned.

When the sun is setting, they decided to go home. As they stepped up to the stairs of the bus, I felt teary. “So this is goodbye,” I said to myself while reminiscing the day that made my 3-day long birthday a success.

This is how I have spent my 16th birthday, sharing laughter with the people that I love most. After we trekked the greenly paths, after we jumped from the rocks and from the bridge down to the river, after we conquered the painful strikes of the waterfalls, and just before I lay down to my bed waiting for this painful body aches to ease, I had this moment of clarity like Danny Stein in Bart Got a Room. We can't choose our memories. The best ones just happen. So what's the point of trying to create the perfect moment when the perfect moment is right now?

Desecrated Temple

That night. That night when you searched for fame, but what you’ve reaped is only regrets. Regrets for that night full of lust bridged your life to the world where you would gain nothing but pain.

Can’t remember it? Or you just don’t want to recall it? Let me just tell you the story, so that you would feel the pain, over and over again.

Young. Fresh. A newly bloomed flower. An Aphrodite that both butterflies and bees can't resist the beauty you possess. Fifteen, that’s how young you are at that night, but you wasted everything good God stored for you.

With your classy friends, you went into a nightclub, a haven for alcohol and drug addicts, unfaithful husbands, prostitutes, and most of all, teens like you girls that believes fame is at hand when you get involve to sex. Well, it’s your first time to enter there, but unfortunately, it’s also your last.

As expected, you caught the most handsome stranger in that club with your tempting smiles and stares. Remember how excited are you when he invited you to go to the dark room? Like any other 1-night-only pairs, your heart seemed to jump as high as the roof above in excitement to do that 1-night-only love. You may not know it, but the walls and the floor of the dark room has been witnesses of the nights when people like you achieved satisfaction after their thirst of love is quenched. But these walls and floor also witnessed how lives started to became miserable after two souls played with the fire of the Lord of Evils in the bed especially designed for people like you.

Without any hesitation, you let the stranger’s lips undressed your God’s temple. Behind all the noise of heart-digging music and evil thoughts roaming from ear to ear from the floor beneath, your body seemed to be hungry for each other’s heat, relentlessly exploring the torsos both of you bestowed for one another. The heat stood to its zenith then both of you started performing the sacred dance of love, defenselessly desecrating your own temples.

The night seemed to be too long, until the both of you fell asleep. But when you woke up, the man who bloodshed your purity, is no longer by your side. At that very moment, I know how you felt. You felt that you were used, played, and wasted for what? For nothing, right. You realized that 1-night only love is only pleasurable on the night you did love-game, after that, you would be just trashed, like a mentholated gum spitted for there’s no taste of menthol at all.

Tell me, did you feel that you’re famous after what you did? I believe you felt you’re famous, why? Because you’re already known in the whole campus as a bitch, prostitute, one-night-stand girl, and soon, a disgrasyada. Did you like it?

Yes, young momma, I’m the fruit of that mishap. Afraid to be nicknamed as abortionists’-pet, you decided to move to the rural face of the world. Should I be thankful for you didn’t abort me?

Nine months passed and a healthy baby boy was welcomed to the planet. Bad for me, for I won’t be living as bright as you wished.

A hands-on mom, that’s what you want your very disappointed parents to think about you. So there you are, trying hard to look as a responsible single parent. You even did breastfeeding to me. But you shouldn’t have done that. Now, the evils of the underworld must be laughing at you now.

3 months passed, and I became thin and sickly. It seemed that I’m attracting diseases incessantly. Cough and skin sores occur again after one is healed. You became worried so you brought me to a doctor.

Then the findings of the test say I got HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). Puzzled? Of course mom, I got it from you. And you got this disease from that stranger you first made love with. I guess this disease is the answer of your persistent dry cough and your sore throat that you suffer for these past six months. Puzzled again? You acquired HIV when you had unprotected sex with my unknown father, but the symptoms of the virus have just appeared. That’s because of the window period, a definite time, in your case, its six months, where you already got HIV, but even if you test yourself over and over again, results would still be negative. It’s because the anti-bodies just occurred after your window period, that’s what the doctor said.

See what you have done? Not just your life, but also my life became miserable because of your craziness. So now, shall we just despondently sit here and watch the same moon who witnessed how you guided your life to this misery and wait until this HIV turns to AIDS and grant us the most painful death that you deserve?

Memoirs of the Fieldtrip

Yes, it takes a trip to realize, to learn, and to change.

Homebound with bus 2200, a smile on my face keeps on sparkling as the memoirs of the 2-day fieldtrip that just ended minutes ago keeps on flashing in my hippocampus. The education trip didn’t just brought me experiential science lessons but also brought me numerous of happy memories too. Happy memories that I didn’t thought I would gain in my despondent life.

The glass window beside me courageously presents me now the reminiscence of the ecstatic experience with my batch mates. The memories are still so fresh in my mind, as fresh as the moonlit breathe the pines exhale to my body that keeps on giving me the feeling of intense coldness, the feeling that I once lived with, but not now anymore.

When we boarded on the school bus that would send us to the Garden City of Samal, I already expect that I would never enjoy this trip. Why? Because I don’t think a stud with no bosom buddy would enjoy a company of bullies, intimate lovers, well-heeled brats, raucous to taciturn dudes, and as nice as boring people. But the expected disaster turned out as a series of fun moments.

Fun is already present while we are still on the bus. We are taking pictures, eating, singing, shouting, and screaming out loud for nonsense but funny reasons, and sometimes, making fun of those who chose to take a nap and miss the daybreak fun.

The intensity of fun stood to its peak when we reach our destination-- Bluejaz Resort, where enjoyment ranges from prices of a dollar to thousands of pesos. But to us, enjoyment in Bluejaz ranges from a simple smiles to machine gun-like laughter. Everyone enjoyed the giant slides that got our adrenaline pumped to its zenith. We even made the rip-roaring slides even more boisterous when we used salvavidas that almost threw us out of the slides. After that, we went to the infinity pool while some find new kind of fun in the white-sanded beach that sparks as the hot rays of the sun hit the crystalline sands.

In the afternoon, after everyone took a short rest, we went back to the giant slides, and after that to the children’s slides. Then we went back to the infinity pool where we almost dominated the whole area. We drowned ourselves with pictures from afternoon to twilight.

The fun never stops even the night is already framing the paradise. That night was so memorable to me because at that night, I gained inner peace. I opened up with my open- minded friends. We shared our problems while watching the dance of the flying fishes with shimmering scales as those contracts with Davao City lights in the near horizon. My batch mates also enjoyed the social drinking both sponsored and supervised by Mr. Oton. I was really happy that the teachers let us do that, at least even once we can be ordinary teen-agers in front of them.

The next day, we experienced science stories in reality. I was so proud of myself at that time because I just conquered my greatest fear, snakes. Now, I got a picture with a Burmese Python hanging on me. We also witnessed the morphing of a butterfly from its pupa stage. When we are freed to shop at SM, I chose to join the men than the women, which I don’t usually do. At that time, I realized that they don’t discriminate me, I’m just the one whose discriminating myself to them.

I found the company of men far better than the women. They are fun, frisky, and frolicsome; perfectly depicting innocent kids strolling around the park. For the first time, I have tried to dine in Mang Inasal and ate a large size of chicken breast with unlimited supply of rice servings! There, I witnessed the guys taking off the velvetiness and manliness of their selves to ease the hunger that they’ve been keeping for hours. Then after that, we found ourselves making mayhem on the World of Fun! All of us have spent a lot of money there. That placed is such a pocket perforator so I promise myself that I shall never return to that place again! But that place is memorable too, because there, I have scrutinized their childish side. I have witnessed how they giggled when they win and how they clamor when they ought nothing. I also experienced driving a bump car. At that time, we became the apple of the eyes of the people who were intrigued by the genuine fun that they noticed on our actions.

The next, and sadly, the last stop is The Philippine Eagle Center in Malagos, Davao City. At first, I thought that there are just a few eagles there, like a couple or three only because the eagle that welcomed us is just preserved carcass. But I couldn’t almost believe the unambiguous fact that there’s more than just a few! First, we saw Sir Arny. Then after that, more and more giant and gargantuan Philippine Eagles lured my sight. I also saw a community of Long-Tailed Macaques there where they are not stuck with a metal on their foot. They were free, but just in a limited space. I realized that if and only if people don’t keep on ruining their natural habitat, they must not have incessantly suffering from the threat of extinction.

It was minutes to four when we finally departed the heart of the City of Promise. On the way to the City of Pines, we didn’t take a long rest; instead, we just took a nap. Why? It’s because we don’t want to miss the last few hours of bonding, laughing, and singing because it could be our last. The Batch Diez “Are You 1 of Us?” inexorably disturbed the deafening silence of the roadway, from abuttal to abuttal, through showing our prowess in singing our favorite song, As We Go On. I could still remember how I silently shed tears after the song fondled my heart down to my deepest emotional abyss. That made me realizes that the batch that I once cursed and hated to death was so important to me that I don’t want to lose them out. I wish that I had more time with them, and I wish that I could have spent more fun with them. But this is the irony of reality: you would definitely know the importance of others to you when you’re starting to lose them.

Now, the bus 2200 is already rushing near to my destination, my house. Now, I’ll be back to my ordinary life in my home. No more fun, no more friends. But I’ll be knocking the door with a new me: A Carl who has finally found the place where he belongs. I am a wild cat no more from now on. I already knew who am I, and that wouldn’t be possible if I haven’t taken part in the memoirs of the two – day field trip.

For my beloved batch mates, thanks for the unadulterated joy, thanks for the juvenile care, and thank for your time being shared with me. I’ll be missing you.